#003 – We often times think of an adventure as something that is outside of us, that we have to do all by ourselves. If we do muster up the courage, we frequently get bogged down trying to get it “right” which leads to giving up or not taking that first step at all. What if there’s an alternative? An adventure that is waiting for each of us that we not only don’t have to do alone, but that can actually be a whole lot of fun in the process. Join us as we explore this and much more on this week’s episode.
The Adventure Begins Within
What do you think of when you hear the word “Adventure?” Indiana Jones? The Hunger Games? Perhaps an image of the single hero who leaves their hometown to go off to some foreign land to slay a few dragons and bring back the treasure to the village who have been patiently waiting for the return. Or maybe you think of an adventure as traveling the world and getting to go to all sorts of exotic destinations. Or perhaps you think of it as achieving more, getting more, having more. All of those are different variations of an adventure, but that’s not the one we’re going to talk about on today’s show.
Do you remember a time when being human meant you were free to make mistakes? To be messy. To not have it all together. Nowadays being human seems to be being equated with being perfect. To never have blown it. That seems to be the standard of what it means to be human. Or it is often times equated with the idea that we can only be one thing or feel only one emotion at a time.
More Than Just One Thing
All of us have parts of who we are that haven’t necessarily had the right nutrients or the space to be developed. These are often times the same parts that are easy to neglect because we have this fear that if we ever did try to cultivate them more, it might be extremely messy or awkward if we did. So any sense of nuance and complexity is for the most part lost in today’s discourse. And as we talked about on last week’s podcast, certainty is now a virtue.
What if we were willing to loosen our grip on some of the bricks that make up the walls of our box? This may fly in the face of current thinking, because we have been conditioned to believe that there is only the singular. There is just one answer.
When you think back to some of the heroes of history like Nelson Mandela, Helen Keller, or Victor Frankl, all of them had circumstances that most of us would find overwhelming today. Yet somehow they were able to embrace the unknown by creating space for themselves in very small ways. They didn’t have the answers or any guarantee of any particular outcome, yet they had a palpable inner freedom.
Often times our fear of “getting it right” will keep us from taking that first small step into something new. Or we think we can only venture into new spaces if we’ve been perfect or based on our performance. When in reality, it is accessible anywhere and anytime. And when we remember that it is there, it’s like a superpower when we do. Yet all of us have access to a space that is available to us anywhere and at anytime.
Creating Space Opens Us Up
As we begin to create space for ourselves even in the smallest of ways, we might become aware of things inside of us that we didn’t even know were there. They might be pleasant things that are part of our inner wisdom, or we might begin to recognize stories that are on auto-repeat in our heads all of the time. If you’re aware those things are there, that is actually a really great thing because it begins to open up the space that we’re witnessing a story. And that story isn’t necessarily who we are.
Often times we will hesitate in taking that first step because we are worried about getting it right or having to be successful. This puts an enormous amount of pressure on us and often times will keep us from expressing some part of us that might not only bring us great joy, but in all likelihood would bring joy to someone else, too. When we let go of this need to get it right, it actually opens the door for us to have a whole lot of fun.
The Reality of Fear
When we venture into new spaces or things that we feel like are unfamiliar, it can understandably create a lot of anxiety and sometime even shame. We think we should be further along or better at whatever it is that we’re stepping into. Or we think that fear is a sign of weakness, when admitting that we are afraid and doing it anyways is actually a sign of courage.
Part of what the Scarcity Complex does is it convinces us that there is only one answer, when in reality there are far more possibilities that are in front of us. This means there is a multitude of possible steps even if they might not feel safe or comfortable at the time.
Living in Gratitude
When we do have the courage to take even the tiniest of steps, it’s important that we pause and give thanks. Scarcity will often get us to focus on everything we don’t have. Whereas abundance grounds us into giving thanks for everything that we currently do have, and there are no shortage of things we can be grateful for. All of a sudden our perspective of ourselves, others, and the world is different when nothing on the outside has actually changed.
What if today you have far more power and strength than you might be aware of right now? Anytime you are willing to step into the unknown, let go of the need to control, or take even the smallest of steps that is true courage. And the joy of doing it is remembering that you do not have to do it all alone.